I applaude you but I've found a different solution. Sheets go from the dryer right onto the bed. The monotony of those pale blue sheets is comforting. Attempting to corral them into the closet in an orderly fashion assaults my immune system and makes me holler and itch.
I am 57, it's too late for me! I am happy you mastered those dang curves Irena as I know how much those small victories in life can give so much joy and PEACE. I am doomed however, because my mom was so many Pac Man levels up from me in the sheet care department; she actually IRONED ALL the sheets while she stood in the kitchen watching Days of Our Lives and Merv Griffin. Me? As lovely as crisply laundered and ironed sheets are (exquisite childhood memory) I am mind blown at the time spent for that, so no, not ever happening in my home. The most I can muster is 4 corners tucked into each other and a hasty burrito roll up which is not as tidy but I also never mistake a flat for a fitted in the cupboard. My own hack of impatient coping.
It's NEVER too late, but I do like the burrito roll as a way to distinguish flat from fitted. And yes, ironing is a lost art. My mom (and both my grandmas) used to iron EVERYTHING. That was my mom's favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon—go through a heap of ironing while on the phone to her friends. My dad used to joke that the receiver would get as hot as the iron. :-)
Ohhhh I feel so seen here. I do the same thing as someone else does--straight from the dryer onto the bed. I've tried so many different times and I always think I'd be better off just wadding it up in a ball. My mom could do it perfectly. You inspire me to give it another try! Thanks for this-hilarious and helpful. ☺️
Let me know if the directions actually work! Please know that I am personally invested in your success. (Also, my 80-year-old mom told me that she folded her fitted sheet perfectly for the first time using my directions and I'm pretty sure I have never felt prouder of my writing before or since.) And, whether or not the instructions actually work, I'm glad I made you laugh.
Very happy for your victory! I never saw a fitted sheet until I was 9. My parents had just returned (to Cyprus) from a trip to the USA and my mother, full of excitement, took the Fitted Sheet out of her luggage. It was very impressive indeed. Until I became an adult and I gave up on them returning to my childhood era when using a flat sheet for the mattress was just fine. Folding problem solved!
Oh, I love this. I grew up in the former Soviet Union, where—as in Cyprus—fitted sheets did not exist. Flat sheets were for mattresses and duvets were for blankets, and my parents and I were flummoxed by American bedding for quite a while. I do appreciate that fitted sheets hug a mattress in a way that flat sheets cannot, but boy are they a pain to fold!
I love so many things about this post, I hardly know where to begin. First: I will try the fitted sheet folding b/c I am amazed at your interior trickery and while I don't believe that just because you can do it, so can I, I feel it would be rude to disagree right off the bat. Number 1 made me laugh out loud, so I proceeded to re-read it 2 more times. I find myself employing Number 4 in a great many contexts, and it really does help. Number 5 made me think of my children and the (completely unappreciated but obviously super helpful) to-lists I am constantly leaving for them: "They just need to sort of co-exist in the same space."
Another masterful piece of prose that made my morning. Thank you!
If I'm being honest, I think all of us need someone to make us a super helpful to-do list. I, for one, would appreciate it very much. Of course your helpfulness is lost on your children, in the same way it's lost on babies that when they're adults, they won't be able to imagine anything nicer than someone rocking them and singing them a soothing lullaby and giving them a bath and a warm beverage when they're tired. Adulthood is basically bad timing happening over and over again until you die.
"Sort of co-exist in the same place" doesn't seem like too tall of an order, does it? And yet why is it sooooo hard???
I could never EVER even dream of folding a fitted sheet, even pre-Parkie hands. You are a super heroine amongst mortal humans. I could never alpha up enough, I could never "resist the temptation to wad it up into a ball and shove it in the back of a closet like you do with all your unprocessed trauma". NOPE. If I could, I would organize a parade in your honor. Luckily my roomie has this skill from years of folding t-shirts at Banana Republic. I have other skills and no one looks in my closet. ps I still hide when the doorbell rings. NO THANKS BYE NOW!
Well *I* would organize a parade in *your* honor for being a kick ass writer and a top-quality human being. So there.
I bet your roomie will have those folding skills FOREVER. One of my college roommates had worked at the GAP and folding things properly (or at least the GAP way) was literally in her DNA. Like she would see me folding something and elbow me aside because whatever travesty I was committing was unbearable to watch.
That would be a great parade! I'll get an outfit together for my float.
Oh Lord, you have no idea. He folds all the towels and the sheets and redoes all the flower arrangements. Can't dispute that he does do the best job, plus I don't have to do it, so go ahead! We joke about the dishwasher...there was a meme out that said something like "In every couple, there's one person who loads the dishwasher like a Scandinavian architect, the other loads it like a badger on crack". You can guess which one I am, I'm sure. ps I'm sure your salad dressing is delightfully tart. #teamirena
Yet another reason we became friends—I am not allowed near the dishwasher because David has definite Scandinavian architect tendencies and I... do not.
Thank you for siding with me in the Ongoing Salad Conflict, now 34 years old and counting. I mean, if a salad doesn't make you pucker up, is it even good for you?
Okay, I am deeply, deeply impressed that you intuitively figured out to do this because the only thing I figured out intuitively is how to wad up the fitted sheet into a rage ball. The polished appearance in the photo is likely due to a LOT of smoothing and tucking.
I am shocked to learn that there is somehow more than one way to fold a fitted sheet into a perfect rectangle and your way differs from my way (but my way rarely leads to perfection, on account of my deep-rooted lack of patience, so maybe there is only one true way, and one half-assed way)
Oh, I'm sure there are MULTIPLE ways to fold a fitted sheet. There's a scary amount of sheet-folding videos on YouTube, although I swear none of them worked for me (probably because of *my* deep-rooted lack of patience). And as for half-assed ways to fold a fitted sheet? SOOOO many. I'm pretty sure I'm well versed in many of them.
I applaude you but I've found a different solution. Sheets go from the dryer right onto the bed. The monotony of those pale blue sheets is comforting. Attempting to corral them into the closet in an orderly fashion assaults my immune system and makes me holler and itch.
Ooh, I LOVE that solution. Plus in the winter, jumping into bed and onto fresh-from-the-dryer sheets would be heavenly.
Oh, and is there a more brilliant phrase for things that we don't feel like doing than "makes me holler and itch"? I don't think so. :-)
I am 57, it's too late for me! I am happy you mastered those dang curves Irena as I know how much those small victories in life can give so much joy and PEACE. I am doomed however, because my mom was so many Pac Man levels up from me in the sheet care department; she actually IRONED ALL the sheets while she stood in the kitchen watching Days of Our Lives and Merv Griffin. Me? As lovely as crisply laundered and ironed sheets are (exquisite childhood memory) I am mind blown at the time spent for that, so no, not ever happening in my home. The most I can muster is 4 corners tucked into each other and a hasty burrito roll up which is not as tidy but I also never mistake a flat for a fitted in the cupboard. My own hack of impatient coping.
It's NEVER too late, but I do like the burrito roll as a way to distinguish flat from fitted. And yes, ironing is a lost art. My mom (and both my grandmas) used to iron EVERYTHING. That was my mom's favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon—go through a heap of ironing while on the phone to her friends. My dad used to joke that the receiver would get as hot as the iron. :-)
This is absolutely brilliant. Ya, I'm impressed you figured out how to fold a fitted sheet, but the writing is brilliant.
As always, you are extraordinarily kind. ❤️❤️❤️
Ohhhh I feel so seen here. I do the same thing as someone else does--straight from the dryer onto the bed. I've tried so many different times and I always think I'd be better off just wadding it up in a ball. My mom could do it perfectly. You inspire me to give it another try! Thanks for this-hilarious and helpful. ☺️
Let me know if the directions actually work! Please know that I am personally invested in your success. (Also, my 80-year-old mom told me that she folded her fitted sheet perfectly for the first time using my directions and I'm pretty sure I have never felt prouder of my writing before or since.) And, whether or not the instructions actually work, I'm glad I made you laugh.
Love this. Thanks for making me laugh out loud and despair in recognition, all at the same time 😃
Thank you for the kind words, Vicki. Despair and laughter is pretty much my MO these days.
You are not alone Irena 😊
Very happy for your victory! I never saw a fitted sheet until I was 9. My parents had just returned (to Cyprus) from a trip to the USA and my mother, full of excitement, took the Fitted Sheet out of her luggage. It was very impressive indeed. Until I became an adult and I gave up on them returning to my childhood era when using a flat sheet for the mattress was just fine. Folding problem solved!
Oh, I love this. I grew up in the former Soviet Union, where—as in Cyprus—fitted sheets did not exist. Flat sheets were for mattresses and duvets were for blankets, and my parents and I were flummoxed by American bedding for quite a while. I do appreciate that fitted sheets hug a mattress in a way that flat sheets cannot, but boy are they a pain to fold!
Flat sheets forever 😁
This is the content I wanted and needed. Thank you for your service.
Happy to oblige! I am, however, a little disturbed by the fact that I now find myself looking forward to folding sheets. Weird.
Sometimes it's the little pleasures. Seriously.
I love so many things about this post, I hardly know where to begin. First: I will try the fitted sheet folding b/c I am amazed at your interior trickery and while I don't believe that just because you can do it, so can I, I feel it would be rude to disagree right off the bat. Number 1 made me laugh out loud, so I proceeded to re-read it 2 more times. I find myself employing Number 4 in a great many contexts, and it really does help. Number 5 made me think of my children and the (completely unappreciated but obviously super helpful) to-lists I am constantly leaving for them: "They just need to sort of co-exist in the same space."
Another masterful piece of prose that made my morning. Thank you!
If I'm being honest, I think all of us need someone to make us a super helpful to-do list. I, for one, would appreciate it very much. Of course your helpfulness is lost on your children, in the same way it's lost on babies that when they're adults, they won't be able to imagine anything nicer than someone rocking them and singing them a soothing lullaby and giving them a bath and a warm beverage when they're tired. Adulthood is basically bad timing happening over and over again until you die.
"Sort of co-exist in the same place" doesn't seem like too tall of an order, does it? And yet why is it sooooo hard???
I could never EVER even dream of folding a fitted sheet, even pre-Parkie hands. You are a super heroine amongst mortal humans. I could never alpha up enough, I could never "resist the temptation to wad it up into a ball and shove it in the back of a closet like you do with all your unprocessed trauma". NOPE. If I could, I would organize a parade in your honor. Luckily my roomie has this skill from years of folding t-shirts at Banana Republic. I have other skills and no one looks in my closet. ps I still hide when the doorbell rings. NO THANKS BYE NOW!
Well *I* would organize a parade in *your* honor for being a kick ass writer and a top-quality human being. So there.
I bet your roomie will have those folding skills FOREVER. One of my college roommates had worked at the GAP and folding things properly (or at least the GAP way) was literally in her DNA. Like she would see me folding something and elbow me aside because whatever travesty I was committing was unbearable to watch.
That would be a great parade! I'll get an outfit together for my float.
Oh Lord, you have no idea. He folds all the towels and the sheets and redoes all the flower arrangements. Can't dispute that he does do the best job, plus I don't have to do it, so go ahead! We joke about the dishwasher...there was a meme out that said something like "In every couple, there's one person who loads the dishwasher like a Scandinavian architect, the other loads it like a badger on crack". You can guess which one I am, I'm sure. ps I'm sure your salad dressing is delightfully tart. #teamirena
Yet another reason we became friends—I am not allowed near the dishwasher because David has definite Scandinavian architect tendencies and I... do not.
Thank you for siding with me in the Ongoing Salad Conflict, now 34 years old and counting. I mean, if a salad doesn't make you pucker up, is it even good for you?
Hmm...I intuitively have been folding my fitted sheets this way, but they never look as good as in your photo :(
Okay, I am deeply, deeply impressed that you intuitively figured out to do this because the only thing I figured out intuitively is how to wad up the fitted sheet into a rage ball. The polished appearance in the photo is likely due to a LOT of smoothing and tucking.
lol...
I am shocked to learn that there is somehow more than one way to fold a fitted sheet into a perfect rectangle and your way differs from my way (but my way rarely leads to perfection, on account of my deep-rooted lack of patience, so maybe there is only one true way, and one half-assed way)
Oh, I'm sure there are MULTIPLE ways to fold a fitted sheet. There's a scary amount of sheet-folding videos on YouTube, although I swear none of them worked for me (probably because of *my* deep-rooted lack of patience). And as for half-assed ways to fold a fitted sheet? SOOOO many. I'm pretty sure I'm well versed in many of them.