Love your statement about parenting being love plus fear, and what happens when fear takes over. What a pithy and perfect take. As the parent of a junior, I'm starting to see how very broken this whole system is. And when did it get that way? Was it this bad when I was applying to college in the late 80s? I don't think it was.
I have MANY thoughts about when and why it got this way. The short version is that the US News & World Report started ranking colleges in 1983 (primarily to boost their flagging readership), and roughly at the same time, funding for public schools began to dry up. Within about 10 years, college went from being a public good to a private luxury. So you’re right: it’s MUCH more broken now than it was when we were applying to college in the ‘80s.
It’s our job to make our children to understand that a school’s “brand” is not synonymous with their value as a person and certainly not with the love and respect we have for them. Nor is it a ticket to long term success and happiness. As parents, we can demonstrate that best not by “protecting” them by pushing them into an artificial curation of their high-school years, but by trying to block out or temper what I call “the noise” - the hysteria, the entitlement, the loss of direction. We can’t control the system, but we can control our reactions to it.
SO well said—particularly about the noise that so often drowns out the signal. And about what so many of us forget: we can't control the system, but we *can* control our reactions to it. I sometimes fantasize about what kinds of change might be possible if there was a collective boycott of the Top 20 schools and they were unable to fill an incoming class.
When the Varsity Blues scandal broke I knew it was symptomatic of broader issues but I found it difficult to communicate what you have so powerfully articulated in this post! Thank you for giving a voice to my primal scream. I do not have children but as a college admissions consultant I have come face to face with the insanity that you describe!
This is a powerful post! I couldn't agree more--the American higher education system is beyond insane and unfair. The macro-insanity produces the micro-insanity--Rick Singer ploys, paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to turn your kid into "Ivy bait". I'm screaming right there with you!
On the finest point, as always, Irena. I will never understand how William H. Macy was never H. charged for any of this. They must have some kind of firewall in that house...or wait...maybe I do understand (see also: Barbie nominations).
As for NY magazine article, I fear it will ultimately serve as less an expose than an informercial. I bet Command Education's phones are ringing off the hook. Which, like Greta and Margot being snubbed by the Academy, only proves your overarching point. All a capital S scam.
Love your statement about parenting being love plus fear, and what happens when fear takes over. What a pithy and perfect take. As the parent of a junior, I'm starting to see how very broken this whole system is. And when did it get that way? Was it this bad when I was applying to college in the late 80s? I don't think it was.
I have MANY thoughts about when and why it got this way. The short version is that the US News & World Report started ranking colleges in 1983 (primarily to boost their flagging readership), and roughly at the same time, funding for public schools began to dry up. Within about 10 years, college went from being a public good to a private luxury. So you’re right: it’s MUCH more broken now than it was when we were applying to college in the ‘80s.
Brilliant. Sharing widely.
Keep this stuff coming!!!
Right on! This scathing, brilliantly written piece had me pumping my fist at the end.
Stacey, thank you!
It’s our job to make our children to understand that a school’s “brand” is not synonymous with their value as a person and certainly not with the love and respect we have for them. Nor is it a ticket to long term success and happiness. As parents, we can demonstrate that best not by “protecting” them by pushing them into an artificial curation of their high-school years, but by trying to block out or temper what I call “the noise” - the hysteria, the entitlement, the loss of direction. We can’t control the system, but we can control our reactions to it.
SO well said—particularly about the noise that so often drowns out the signal. And about what so many of us forget: we can't control the system, but we *can* control our reactions to it. I sometimes fantasize about what kinds of change might be possible if there was a collective boycott of the Top 20 schools and they were unable to fill an incoming class.
When the Varsity Blues scandal broke I knew it was symptomatic of broader issues but I found it difficult to communicate what you have so powerfully articulated in this post! Thank you for giving a voice to my primal scream. I do not have children but as a college admissions consultant I have come face to face with the insanity that you describe!
This is a powerful post! I couldn't agree more--the American higher education system is beyond insane and unfair. The macro-insanity produces the micro-insanity--Rick Singer ploys, paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to turn your kid into "Ivy bait". I'm screaming right there with you!
Lisa, thank you for being a fellow screamer! ❤️
On the finest point, as always, Irena. I will never understand how William H. Macy was never H. charged for any of this. They must have some kind of firewall in that house...or wait...maybe I do understand (see also: Barbie nominations).
As for NY magazine article, I fear it will ultimately serve as less an expose than an informercial. I bet Command Education's phones are ringing off the hook. Which, like Greta and Margot being snubbed by the Academy, only proves your overarching point. All a capital S scam.